Thursday, April 14, 2005

Anxiety and other random thoughts

Feelings of guilt under control. Feelings of anxiety? Well, working on it. I didn't sleep so well last night. Kept thinking about all I have to do, waiting for the alarm clock to go off. I HATE the alarm clock. I try to wake up before it goes off (at least to turn it off before rolling over and going back to sleep). I'm not a morning person.
But today, I was successful. Woke up before 7 and worked out. Did a good weight lifting session. I'm trying to work off the pudge that snuck up in my middle (I see it even if others don't). The buns came down and played with me while I worked out. They're so cute. They think I woke up early just for them. A little distracting though. Afterwards, they even followed me back upstairs to keep me company while I changed for lab.
Anyway, I'm mad I didn't do 2 workouts last night but I didn't get home until 9:30. After dinner, I was exhausted. I'm trying to make up for it by doing 3 today (don't do this; it's bad). You're not supposed to make up time for missed workouts but I don't listen to common sense.
I gave a practice job talk to the lab today. It felt really rough, but everyone was very supportive and gave me useful comments. I'm so nervous. I leave 1 week from today for 5 interviews in San Diego. I lied. I'm not nervous. I'm terrified. What's the worst that could happen? Lots of things. I could break down and start crying. I could throw up on the P.I. I could pee my pants. I'll try not to think about those things. Now, I'm exhausted after the adrenaline crash I experienced after giving the talk. Post-traumatic talk syndrome (P.T.T.S.)

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