Thursday, June 11, 2020

Still Trying...

What a crazy world we live in. The last time I posted, it was before the pandemic, and I was consumed by school and the hectic business of life. I used that as an excuse to avoid workouts. March 13th was the last time I saw my kids this year. My whole world changed forever. It's been an adjustment, but I'm luckier than most. I have a stable job, partner, family, and we are all healthy.

I also ended up having a lot of free time on my hands. For the first two weeks, I slept a lot, which is normal for me--teaching makes me so exhausted. Then, anxiety set in. And guilt for not being able to enjoy my free time. I entered the next phase: the Inertia Phase. This mainly consists of me not wanting to do anything, but my mind races. I end up cranky and laying on the couch.

After a few weeks of this, I got sick of it and decided to make some changes. First, I started sticking to a routine. Having dogs helps with this. Then, I took control of my diet and started working out again. I have begun gaining unwanted weight and my self confidence has plummeted. Now, I keep a food journal and have been keeping track of calories. I've also been working out again. It's been 3 weeks.

I feel like a broken record. I keep starting, then stopping, starting, then stopping. It's embarrassing, but at least I keep trying. Right now, I'm just trying to make it a habit. I remember when I used to look forward to my workouts and would itch to do them. I also remember the workouts feeling much easier. That's my goal right now--do consistent workouts and get to the point where I can enjoy them.

I've been trying to workout 6 days a week at the most, or at the very least, avoid 2 nonconsecutive rest days (this sets me up for a bad pattern). So far, so good. The hardest part is getting out the door. The runs have finally started getting easier (except I'm still only running 4 miles at an embarrassing 11 min/mile pace). So are the weights. The bike is hard but at least I'm doing it (only 20-30 miles right now). I'm trying. I'm not giving up. I think that's what matters.

My favorite running partner, Juneau.