Sunday, May 22, 2005

What is wrong with me?

This title is like opening a can of worms. But, specifically, I'm mostly talking about fatigue. Every time I begin to start to get back into a routine, something throws me off. Ever since the trip to San Diego, I've been all screwed up. Basically, the 2 weeks before San Diego, I worked my ass off in lab. The next week, I was in San Diego. The next week, I worked my ass off in lab and had a committee meeting. I spent the rest of that week recovering. So, by May 16th I had decided it was time to get back into a normal schedule.
It was going okay until a protein purification kept me in lab until 1:30 a.m. Thursday morning. Is that why I've been so tired? How long does it take to recover from a busy day or a few busy weeks? I mean, c'mon! Get with the program, already!
I have been addicted to lab. It's good, but I can't do anything else. I get in there, and I don't want to leave. This has never happened. Normally, I can delegate life and work a little better than this. Balance, anyone?
So I come home on Friday and feel this overwhelming exhaustion come over me. I lie down, just for a minute, I promise. Jason and I were looking forward to a run, maybe renting some movies. I doze off at 7:30. Okay, fine. But then, I don't wake up until 9:30 a.m. the following morning. What the f...? After cleaning litterboxes at home, and volunteering at the House Rabbit Society and cleaning 16 more bunny cages and pens, I return home at 5:30 p.m., and nap again until 8:30 p.m. I slept last night, no problem, for about 9 hours. After a great pancake, watermelon, and coffee breakfast, I fell asleep on the couch with the t.v. blasting for another 5 hours.
Now, I'm up. I don't feel tired. But this is just weird. What is wrong with me? I don't feel the events in my life justify this amount of fatigue. Am I just being lazy? Why am I having such a hard time fighting this? Is it the antidepressants? If so, why now? I've been on them for 3 or 4 months; I would have expected side effects earlier. This is just simply unacceptable to me. The high levels of energy I normally possess allow me to do everything I want to do. How can I get my energy back?

2 comments:

G-Man said...

"I don't feel the events in my life justify this amount of fatigue."
If anyone else tried to keep your pace of life they'd be dead! My gawd girl! Give yourself some credit for even being conscious. I get tired just reading your agenda!
Antidepressants are, unfortunately, a relatively new way of treating mood disorders. All of the SSRI's category work on different receptors and it takes up to 3 or 4 weeks to notice an affect. Often a change of meds is needed or even a combo of same. Given that dosages are not standard it can take months and sometime years to attain satisfaction. Side effects are not uncommon and are usually related to one of the following: sex, weight gain and fatigue. Talk with your shrink and I do hope you have a psychiatrist working with you on this because GP's don't have much skill in this area. They usually know no more than what the pharmaceutical rep told them.
But the bottom line is that when they work, they work well so don't give up.

Rachel said...

I do see a therapist for mild generalized anxiety and depression. I have had wonderful results with a combination of Lexapro and Wellbutrin with almost no side effects. However, do the recent increase in stress in my life (from an already high-stress baseline), my dose of Lexapro was increased slightly. Now that I'm doing so well, I was thinking of tapering down to the original dose. (from 15 to 10 mg).