Monday, May 09, 2005
Excited and scared
This is so nerdy but I don't care. I am so excited about my project right now. I feel I'm on the verge of discovering something big. I'm so nervous and scared b/c I've been burned before, but I'm using what I've learned from my mistakes and proceeding cautiously. I'm doing controls. I'm ensuring consistency and reproducibility. I'm scared b/c I can't prove that the results aren't real. What if it's real?! This is something new that has never been done before. I feel I might have a choice. I've been working so hard, and it may work out for me. But I'll have to stay in St. Louis longer and work very hard. I don't care. It's worth it. I'm just scared I'll fall on my face. I need to make sure it's real. My excitement is fueling my energy and productivity; it's also exhausting me. My committee meeting is tomorrow. I hope they're excited as well.