Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Inside Tazzer-Schmazzer-Mookie Bear's Head

Since my picture has made several guest appearances, I figured I should post my two cents. I'm a middle-aged, 6-year-0ld, laid-back sort of guy. My days are pretty routine--wait for Mom to wake up, eat lots of lettuce and carrots and bananas, play in my litterbox, munch on some hay, and then find a good spot in the sun to lay in and take a nap. I like to lay by my water bowl b/c it helps cool me off. If it gets too hot, I can knock it over and make a nice, little, refreshing puddle for myself (this really pisses Mom off; hee-hee).
Mom is really good to me. I'm a very lucky bun, don't get me wrong. However, sometimes Mom gets in over her head. She's a very busy lady, and sometimes, I have to be patient and wait for her to make time for me. She thinks she can save all the buns in the world and keeps bringing homeless buns into our home. Sigh.
She always gives me at least a few minutes of pettings every day. This is my favorite time of day. If she pets me long enough, I always reward her by grooming her with my tongue. She loves that. This always guarantees more pettings and sometimes even a treat. She also likes it when I purr. I hate it when her hands smell funny though. I wrinkle my nose up and hop away, reminding her to wash her hands and make sure they're clean before she touches me.
I hate it when Babs (my step-sister) hogs all the attention. For some reason, Mom just loves her. I know she loves me too but Babs can be sooo bossy. I don't get it. When Mom ignores me, I always flop over on my back with my little legs sticking up in the air. I don't understand why, but Mom finds this irresistable. I got the idea from Babs. So what if it's stealing. It works!
Mom made me share the house with Babs about 2 years ago. It was a struggle because Babs tried to bully me around and beat me up a lot. We get along pretty well now but I still pretend Babs beats me up when Mom is around, especially at feeding time. This makes Mom feel bad for me and always guarantees attention, kisses, and sometimes even a treat. (I live for treats!) To be fair, Babs does chase me away from the food bowl sometimes so I'm not making it all up. However, Babs and I like to snuggle when Mom isn't looking. It's nice to have another furry, soft bunny to snuggle up to when Mom is busy in the big, outside world.
Lately, Mom has been putting me and Babs on little dates with another bun, Oscar. He's so big! Babs is terrified of him, but I love him! He's SO nice. Very laid-back, just like me. And when I hide behind him, Babs is too scared to go past him so I can hide and get away from her! I'm the littlest of the two so I'm the quickest. I can't wait until Oscar moves in with us.
Sometimes, Mom brings me outside. She thinks I need fresh air and sunshine. I hate it. It's so scary. I just know something is going to get me. I usually scratch at Mom's second skin and try to bury myself under it. Mom doesn't bring out the other buns because she knows I'm the most mature and the bravest. I'm the only one who's brave enough to see who's at the door when the bell rings. This is great b/c guests usually give me treats!
Treats are my favorite. When Mom eats, I like to beg by standing on my hind feet at the table and do a little dance for Mom. If my performance is good enough, I get a treat! Cheerios and Cheez-Its are my favorites. Oh, popcorn is my all-time favorite treat. My favorite night is movie night. Mom and Dad make popcorn and snuggle on the couch. I snuggle with them and get popcorn and lots of pettings--a double bonus. This is just heaven. Especially b/c no other buns are around so I get Mom and Dad to myself.
Dad is great. The other buns are scared of him but he's a gentle giant. He likes to play with me. We play "grunt." He shakes his hand at me and I grunt and charge at it and then turn and leap in the air at the last second. It's hilarious. I like to lie besides Dad when he watches t.v. in the evening. He doesn't like to admit it, but he likes it when I snuggle with him too.
Mom and Dad have been so stressed out lately. My job is to take care of them. They're going to need a lot of calming and soothing in the future. I'll see to it that they chill out.

3 comments:

Mon said...

My baby boy loves popcorn too!!
Bunnies are good for slowing you down!! Cute post!

Joshie said...

Girl...You Crazy! I have to say, though, that lab wouldn't be the same without our spastic outbursts everyday as our caffeine highs are wearing off (more often than not involving you impersonating some animal noises or behavior, and me chasing after Dave with a rino).

Enjoying my first post on your blog,

Josh

Rachel said...

Yeah, but you can't impersonate a charging rhino or a binkying bunny like I can.