I am feeling pretty good about myself. I can't believe the move is coming up in 3 weeks. I try not to think about it. I know I'm on the ball. I actually have anxiety about not having more to do. On the other hand, I feel good about keeping a routine, exercising, gardening, doing chores, and working hard in lab. I feel energized and have all-around good morale.
I've stopped logging in my food journal and counting calories. I am still trying to eat healthfully and limit my dessert intake but I don't need to obsess. I feel good in a bikini! I'm happy about how I look for the first time in a long time. I feel strong and fit and healthy. I know I could be in better shape but I'm in good shape and I feel I have something to work with. I'm not being as hard on myself.
I love the races I've been doing lately. I haven't cared about the times, and I've had a blast. I do them because they're fun. I've even been racing without a watch and I took the cyclometer off my bike (Guess what? I'm going faster!) Same with my workouts. I make them fun. I push when I feel strong and pull back when I'm tired. I listen to my body. I felt very tired yesterday and gave myself a night off. Otherwise, I know I'll burn out quickly and need more than 1 day. It's hard to train for 3 sports + weightlifting simultaneously. So I try to be realistic and do what I can. I still keep a training log and that really helps me keep it all in check.
I think it's important for women to try to love their bodies and not be so hard on themselves. It's such a messed-up, double-standard society we live in. We should appreciate our bodies for what they can do, not how they look. That's why I love exercise and training. It makes me feel good about myself and makes me listen to my body. After a hard run, if my body craves spinach, eggs, tuna fish, and ice cream (it's happened), that's what it gets!
For such a long time I obsessed about my body, my stomach, and what I ate. I was walking a thin line of having a body image disorder and eating disorder, and now I feel like I'm coming back from the brink. I know I can still go there when I'm stressed but lately, I've been very happy with how I look. I know others think I'm crazy. I'm 5'8" and 122 lbs. I do not need to lose weight, and I know this. I should be thankful for my body and enjoy it. I'm enjoying how strong and fast it is. I kick ass!
9 comments:
I like your Blog. But why watch what you eat when this is your only life??? I'm not fat but I am a paranormal investigator and we can't eat all this good stuff when we go......*eats doughnut* hahahah
But thats great discipline. I wish I could say I'm that hard on myself.
I watch what I eat because it is my only life and I want to treat my body well (as I sit here munching away on a giant, chewy chocolate chip cookie...mmmmmmm....). As you can see, I don't totally deny myself. However, I feel better when I fuel myself with better foods. Junk food makes me feel like crap, even if it tastes good in the short run.
P.S. What does a "paranormal investigator" do?
I've done Ghost Studies and Research for the last 11 years. I started young with a haunted house in Montana to leading my own group here in Texas.
blah blah I'm not pushing ghosts on anyone, I just enjoy what I know about them and do what I do in this life now.
If you believe, you won't need an explanation. If you don't, then no explanation will do.
Thanks for your uplifting comments, g-man. I still battle society's "expectations" of me every day.
Great post! Its true, if you are comfortable with yourself, everyone will be comfortable with you too. Exercise is under rated...(or people just dont get it) It does wonders to lift your mood, granted sometimes you have to force yourself, but you always end up in a good mood when you are done!! You DO kick ass!
extremekion: I'm in the ohio ghost hunters society we investigate the prison here in mansfield. (and other places)
Mon,
I agree...after a good workout (even if I have to force myself to do it) i am always in a much better mood.
rachel,
over the last few months of keeping up with your blog, i would point out that you have a great ballance for your self image...especially as you have written about how much fun it has been for you lately.
exercise is an essential tonic for the body and mind. I do it also as often as needed. NIce blog you got going. I`ll be back for sure.
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