Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Something Like Normal

Today is a good day. Things have been getting better. It's funny b/c nothing has really changed in my life but my perspective is changing. My therapist had some really good things to say on Monday. My favorite was, "One day at a time." Nothing is perfect all the time but maybe if I attack things one day at a time, little by little, it will come together. My "to do" list has been much easier to tackle that way. Applying this new philosophy, I've been eating healthier, sleeping on a more consistent schedule and exercising routinely. My energy levels have slowly been rising. Something like normal.
My biggest problem is lack of patience. I know what I want so why do I have to wait? I'm not patient enough to wait for results in lab, and I'm not patient enough to allow my body to catch up with my brain. Sometimes I think my body is smarter than my mind. It seems to know a lot more than I do. If I only listened sometimes.
I went for a very pleasant run yesterday. I felt pretty zippy and even ended up passing a few guys. That's one for the ladies! I love passing guys, especially when they get that surprised/frustrated look on their faces. Yup, that's right. You're getting your ass kicked by a girl! Hee hee. It really got my adrenaline pumping. As I walked back towards lab, I saw this gorgeous red-headed woodpecker fly past and land in a nearby tree. I love all the wildlife I see right in my own backyard. He was quite large, had a brilliantly crimson head, white back, and ebony black tail. Gorgeous. Like a tuxedo with a red rose in the lapel.
I can't believe the garden. It's never looked like this. Summer is definitely here. I just need to weed and deadhead every week or so. Just maintenance. It's so much fun to go out and play in it. I can actually hide in the bushes in the back, and no one can see me. This amazes me b/c 2 years ago, it was all dirt. It's so rewarding to see something take off and flourish that you planted by seed. The colors are great: purple clematis, balloon flower, phlox, pincushion flower, purple coneflower, white daisies, yellow coreopsis, red coral bells, pink hydrangeas, and orange marigolds and daylilies. The white is a dominant color since the daisies are very happy. They glow in the moonlight, making the garden light up. I had never noticed how bright the flowers were at night. In addition, the soft neon blinking of the fireflies brings back fond childhood memories. I still get excited when I see the first fireflies of summer. It makes me want to wish on a firefly. "Fly light, fly bright, first fly I see tonight..." You get the picture. The hot, dry, humid summer is beginning. I find it relaxing. The rapid clicking hum of the cicadas at night comforts me. Summer in St. Louis. You know it when the cicadas start chirping. They sound kind of like a broken air conditioner with a whirring fan that's about to give out.
Day by day, little by little. Everything is okay. I have a plan for anything that might not be so that I know it will work out.


Mon said...

One day at a time is a good one! Its easier to see things in small increments! Today, I'm ok! Thinking about the future is mostly overwhelming!

Your flowers sound beautiful! And I work for a very prominent company in the floriculture industry. You might have some of our plants! If they die, don't tell me, I get that enough. lol.

I'm just getting use to the tree frogs at my new place, I use to think it was some bird making those noises at night! Shows what i know

Rachel said...

Tree frogs! That's cool. I don't worry about the plants that die. If they don't make it the first year, I plant something that will. There are too many flowers out there and I don't have time to baby the wimpy ones. I go for the tough, gorgeous perennials. It's amazing what you can do with the less is more strategy!