Saturday, June 11, 2005
Feel like crap
Have been pretty depressed reason for no real good reason. Stuck doing all sorts of things I don't want to do. My routine is shot to shit. Again. I don't get to do anything I want to do and I don't have time to do the things I need to do. And even if I did, I would still feel like curling up on the sofa and crying, which really freaks out Jason and the bunnies. I hate chemicals. I have no control.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Running in the Rain
I'm totally stuck in lab tonight, and I would be pissed but I snuck a run in so I'm proud of myself. Let's see...Sunday--run; Monday--off; Tuesday--bike and weight lift; Wednesday--run. Not bad, not bad, especially considering I'm just getting back into it.
The thunderstorms finally came in today. Our lab is on the 8th floor and we have windows on all sides, including a nice view of Forest Park and the arch. Around 1 p.m. or so, the thunderheads came rolling in, dark, thick, and ominous. They came from the north. It started raining in one direction but it was still sunny if you looked out of an east window. Very cool. Of course, I was stuck at the radioactive bench so I didn't see it. I just saw everyone huddled at the windows. The sunlight was blotted out with black clouds. Everyone "oooohed and aaaahed" as the lightning bolts zig-zagged across the sky, followed by crashing thunder.
By the time 6:00 rolled around, I was still stuck playing with radioactivity, irritable, and wondering if I would be able to get outside at all. Finally, I had an hour incubation. I checked out, gave myself the all-clear with the geiger counter, and ran to the window. A steady drizzle. Okay. I could smell the rain wafting in through the ventilation system. It sparked a surge of energy in me. I just had to be outside. I checked the weather on my computer. Strong thunderstorms all evening. Crap. I looked outside. Screw it. I changed and ran out the door.
All the street lights were out, and it was madness crossing the 8-lane street to get to Forest Park. Apparently, some drivers believe that when the lights go out, it just means an automatic green, of course at a really, really high speed. When one car hesitated, I jogged out into traffic, praying the other cars would follow suit. Reluctantly, they did. Bastards. Maybe they're jealous they couldn't be out too. More likely, they just wondered what the crazy girl was doing out in the rain running into traffic.
I began the descent into the park, skipping down the steps, high-stepping through the mud. A couple of times, I skidded in the slippery mud, holding my arms out to my sides to regain balance, and then continued on. I jumped over puddles, crossed the wooden bridges and reached the gravel path. Steady drops of rain fell with muffled patters on the leaves of the trees, thickly lining the paths. The birds were everywhere. Ducks with their ducklings and a flock of Canadian geese with their quickly growing goslings, soaking up the refreshing rain, eager for the drops of relief after months of dry weather and a steady week of 90 degree, humid weather. Robins reluctantly hopped out of my path as they feasted on earthworms, crawling to the surface to abandon their flooded homes only to meet the doom of a yellow beak. An egret picked its way through the pond with its spindly yellow legs, snaking its slender white neck forward, searching for fish. Forest Park was crawling with critters, but was completely deserted of people, which was a refreshing change.
Beads of rain-mixed sweat ran down my cheek. Steady drops of rain cooled me, allowing my energy to feed my engine. I focused on form. Shoulders relaxed, supportive core, stretched up chest, even breathing. I bent slightly forward from the hips to engage the glutes and focused on pushing off with my outer hips, keeping my knees parallel. With each step, I landed lightly on my toes, bouncing off again immediately. No rest for the weary feet. With each stride, I picked each leg up a little higher from the knee, like a 5-gaited horse. I shortened my stride slightly and increased my rate of turnover, and before each footfall, I pulled my landing foot under my body, allowing it to efficiently land on the forefoot, and engage my engine to shoot it forward for the next stride.
I felt strong, I felt great, and for the first time, I believed that maybe I could regain what I had lost. If you were a horse, what type of horse would you be? I would be a Thoroughbred. Hyper, skinny, built for endurance, and just wants to go. That's me. Oh. And I'd be a mudder. Something about the rain makes me want to get out there and just sprint.
Now that I got my run in, it's okay I'm stuck here in lab. It's okay I spent 90 minutes cleaning up after all my radioactive crap. It doesn't matter. I got my run in. After I got back, all I needed was a bar of soap and a hand towel. I jumped in the shower in the bathrooms down the hall, and in 10 minutes, I was ready to go back to work. I had a good recess.
The thunderstorms finally came in today. Our lab is on the 8th floor and we have windows on all sides, including a nice view of Forest Park and the arch. Around 1 p.m. or so, the thunderheads came rolling in, dark, thick, and ominous. They came from the north. It started raining in one direction but it was still sunny if you looked out of an east window. Very cool. Of course, I was stuck at the radioactive bench so I didn't see it. I just saw everyone huddled at the windows. The sunlight was blotted out with black clouds. Everyone "oooohed and aaaahed" as the lightning bolts zig-zagged across the sky, followed by crashing thunder.
By the time 6:00 rolled around, I was still stuck playing with radioactivity, irritable, and wondering if I would be able to get outside at all. Finally, I had an hour incubation. I checked out, gave myself the all-clear with the geiger counter, and ran to the window. A steady drizzle. Okay. I could smell the rain wafting in through the ventilation system. It sparked a surge of energy in me. I just had to be outside. I checked the weather on my computer. Strong thunderstorms all evening. Crap. I looked outside. Screw it. I changed and ran out the door.
All the street lights were out, and it was madness crossing the 8-lane street to get to Forest Park. Apparently, some drivers believe that when the lights go out, it just means an automatic green, of course at a really, really high speed. When one car hesitated, I jogged out into traffic, praying the other cars would follow suit. Reluctantly, they did. Bastards. Maybe they're jealous they couldn't be out too. More likely, they just wondered what the crazy girl was doing out in the rain running into traffic.
I began the descent into the park, skipping down the steps, high-stepping through the mud. A couple of times, I skidded in the slippery mud, holding my arms out to my sides to regain balance, and then continued on. I jumped over puddles, crossed the wooden bridges and reached the gravel path. Steady drops of rain fell with muffled patters on the leaves of the trees, thickly lining the paths. The birds were everywhere. Ducks with their ducklings and a flock of Canadian geese with their quickly growing goslings, soaking up the refreshing rain, eager for the drops of relief after months of dry weather and a steady week of 90 degree, humid weather. Robins reluctantly hopped out of my path as they feasted on earthworms, crawling to the surface to abandon their flooded homes only to meet the doom of a yellow beak. An egret picked its way through the pond with its spindly yellow legs, snaking its slender white neck forward, searching for fish. Forest Park was crawling with critters, but was completely deserted of people, which was a refreshing change.
Beads of rain-mixed sweat ran down my cheek. Steady drops of rain cooled me, allowing my energy to feed my engine. I focused on form. Shoulders relaxed, supportive core, stretched up chest, even breathing. I bent slightly forward from the hips to engage the glutes and focused on pushing off with my outer hips, keeping my knees parallel. With each step, I landed lightly on my toes, bouncing off again immediately. No rest for the weary feet. With each stride, I picked each leg up a little higher from the knee, like a 5-gaited horse. I shortened my stride slightly and increased my rate of turnover, and before each footfall, I pulled my landing foot under my body, allowing it to efficiently land on the forefoot, and engage my engine to shoot it forward for the next stride.
I felt strong, I felt great, and for the first time, I believed that maybe I could regain what I had lost. If you were a horse, what type of horse would you be? I would be a Thoroughbred. Hyper, skinny, built for endurance, and just wants to go. That's me. Oh. And I'd be a mudder. Something about the rain makes me want to get out there and just sprint.
Now that I got my run in, it's okay I'm stuck here in lab. It's okay I spent 90 minutes cleaning up after all my radioactive crap. It doesn't matter. I got my run in. After I got back, all I needed was a bar of soap and a hand towel. I jumped in the shower in the bathrooms down the hall, and in 10 minutes, I was ready to go back to work. I had a good recess.
Harrowing bike ride
Another bout of PMS has come and gone. Poor Jason. I nearly broke the stupid air pump trying to get air in my tires to go on a bike ride last night. I get kind of caveman-like when I get frustrated. Like an angry chimp.
Note to self: don't try to go a week w/o chocolate right before PMSing. It's a setup for failure. I went 3 or 4 days cold turkey and then, the last 4 days, I gave in to temptation. So, I'm starting over on that one. I also have been going to bed pretty late. I've been so wired at midnight. The last thing I can think about is sleep. So I've been waking up late too. I need to shift everything back about an hour.
On the other hand, I've been pretty good about eating healthier, exercising, and cutting back on the naps. So that's a start. Last night, I decided to go for a spin around Forest Park. I'm sick of the trainer; bikes are meant to be ridden outside, for Pete's sake. I tried to tell Jason that but he wouldn't get off the trainer so I stubbornly set out by myself at 10 to 8 last night.
It felt great b/c the sun was going down and a thin layer of clouds hung in the sky, concealing the early evening shadows and the blazing sun. It had been in the 90s earlier and quite humid, but now, a light breeze, exacerbated by the speed of the bike, blew in my face like a much-needed fan.
I wore no watch, and for some reason, my cyclometer had broken and wasn't giving me a reading. It was pleasantly relaxing, yet I was still working hard. I pushed myself according to my breath. It felt good to just go and listen to my body and not worry about gadgets and computers and readings and keeping your rpms this, your heart rate that, your speed this, etc. I focused on the steady spinning of my legs, keeping even pressure with the bike throughout the pedal stroke, and keeping my upper body relaxed and still, removed from my legs, churning below me, apart from me, like a well-oiled engine.
Even though my lungs burned, I felt good. I love my bike, I love its speed, its comfort, how it fits me, how I feel like a part of it when I bike. I speed down the hill at the zoo and noticed another cyclist behind me. Many cyclists use the loop at Forest Park for a workout so I thought nothing of it.
As I headed by the playing fields, I noticed he was still behind me. I could hear the spinning of his wheels, and the shifting of his gears as we went up a hill. Several cop cars had passed me, and I passed two mounted policemen so I didn't worry too much. Even if he was following me, there were people everywhere.
The cars that drove past me had their lights on as dusk fell. I turned a corner, shifted into 3rd, and took off. Let's see if this f.cker really is following me. I decided to play a game with him. I hit about 30 mph before another hill slowed me down, forcing me to shift back to 2nd. I didn't see him behind me anymore. I was mostly relieved and a little disappointed that I had lost my new playmate.
As I coasted downhill, he caught up with me, and I realized he was definitely following me. My heart leapt in my throat. I took off again and zipped by the tennis courts and the history museum, weaving to avoid some inconsiderate cars who ignored me, almost pulling right into me.
My lungs were burning, my chest heaving, my legs screaming, but I didn't care. Up Skinker I sprinted. Halfway up, I slowed way down. I needed a rest. I sucked down water from my water bottle and hoped my pursuer would grow weary and pass me. I'm not much of a cyclist, and I'm pretty out of shape so I was pretty sure I wasn't challenging him very much. Part of me hoped he was following me because he thought I was such an awesome cyclist that he could get a great workout by riding with me. Ah, such grandiose wishes.
By the time I sped down past the zoo the 2nd time, it was almost dark, and I was debating what to do. Should I pull up to one of the police officers and claim this guy was following me? What would they do? This asshole would only deny it anyway. It's a free country. 2 people can bike on the same path. I didn't want to feel like an idiot. I decided to see what happened when I turned out of the park back towards home.
The final turn was a sharp right, forcing me to slow way down. I took this opportunity to look over my shoulder so I could get a clear glimpse of my attacker. Male, helmet, white cotton t-shirt, blue bike...wait. It was Jason! The whole time! I felt a wave of embarrassment and relief wash over me simultaneously.
"Jason!" I shouted in my southern accent, which I adopt when I'm pissed off. He didn't say anything and slowed down. I slowed down, continuing to look over my shoulder, totally blowing a stop sign and almost colliding with another cyclist in front of me (who was very forgiving). Turns out that Jason, concerned about my riding in the dark, had gotten off the trainer and come after me after I doggedly decided to go for my jaunt in the park. What a scare he gave me! Pretty hilarious.
Note to self: don't try to go a week w/o chocolate right before PMSing. It's a setup for failure. I went 3 or 4 days cold turkey and then, the last 4 days, I gave in to temptation. So, I'm starting over on that one. I also have been going to bed pretty late. I've been so wired at midnight. The last thing I can think about is sleep. So I've been waking up late too. I need to shift everything back about an hour.
On the other hand, I've been pretty good about eating healthier, exercising, and cutting back on the naps. So that's a start. Last night, I decided to go for a spin around Forest Park. I'm sick of the trainer; bikes are meant to be ridden outside, for Pete's sake. I tried to tell Jason that but he wouldn't get off the trainer so I stubbornly set out by myself at 10 to 8 last night.
It felt great b/c the sun was going down and a thin layer of clouds hung in the sky, concealing the early evening shadows and the blazing sun. It had been in the 90s earlier and quite humid, but now, a light breeze, exacerbated by the speed of the bike, blew in my face like a much-needed fan.
I wore no watch, and for some reason, my cyclometer had broken and wasn't giving me a reading. It was pleasantly relaxing, yet I was still working hard. I pushed myself according to my breath. It felt good to just go and listen to my body and not worry about gadgets and computers and readings and keeping your rpms this, your heart rate that, your speed this, etc. I focused on the steady spinning of my legs, keeping even pressure with the bike throughout the pedal stroke, and keeping my upper body relaxed and still, removed from my legs, churning below me, apart from me, like a well-oiled engine.
Even though my lungs burned, I felt good. I love my bike, I love its speed, its comfort, how it fits me, how I feel like a part of it when I bike. I speed down the hill at the zoo and noticed another cyclist behind me. Many cyclists use the loop at Forest Park for a workout so I thought nothing of it.
As I headed by the playing fields, I noticed he was still behind me. I could hear the spinning of his wheels, and the shifting of his gears as we went up a hill. Several cop cars had passed me, and I passed two mounted policemen so I didn't worry too much. Even if he was following me, there were people everywhere.
The cars that drove past me had their lights on as dusk fell. I turned a corner, shifted into 3rd, and took off. Let's see if this f.cker really is following me. I decided to play a game with him. I hit about 30 mph before another hill slowed me down, forcing me to shift back to 2nd. I didn't see him behind me anymore. I was mostly relieved and a little disappointed that I had lost my new playmate.
As I coasted downhill, he caught up with me, and I realized he was definitely following me. My heart leapt in my throat. I took off again and zipped by the tennis courts and the history museum, weaving to avoid some inconsiderate cars who ignored me, almost pulling right into me.
My lungs were burning, my chest heaving, my legs screaming, but I didn't care. Up Skinker I sprinted. Halfway up, I slowed way down. I needed a rest. I sucked down water from my water bottle and hoped my pursuer would grow weary and pass me. I'm not much of a cyclist, and I'm pretty out of shape so I was pretty sure I wasn't challenging him very much. Part of me hoped he was following me because he thought I was such an awesome cyclist that he could get a great workout by riding with me. Ah, such grandiose wishes.
By the time I sped down past the zoo the 2nd time, it was almost dark, and I was debating what to do. Should I pull up to one of the police officers and claim this guy was following me? What would they do? This asshole would only deny it anyway. It's a free country. 2 people can bike on the same path. I didn't want to feel like an idiot. I decided to see what happened when I turned out of the park back towards home.
The final turn was a sharp right, forcing me to slow way down. I took this opportunity to look over my shoulder so I could get a clear glimpse of my attacker. Male, helmet, white cotton t-shirt, blue bike...wait. It was Jason! The whole time! I felt a wave of embarrassment and relief wash over me simultaneously.
"Jason!" I shouted in my southern accent, which I adopt when I'm pissed off. He didn't say anything and slowed down. I slowed down, continuing to look over my shoulder, totally blowing a stop sign and almost colliding with another cyclist in front of me (who was very forgiving). Turns out that Jason, concerned about my riding in the dark, had gotten off the trainer and come after me after I doggedly decided to go for my jaunt in the park. What a scare he gave me! Pretty hilarious.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Summer is here
Summer always begins a little early in St. Louis. We had such a beautiful, long spring. However, we got virtually no rain, which is not going to be good as we enter the dry, dog days of summer. I also haven't seen as many baby ducklings this summer. Hope they're okay!
I knew it was summer as I walked to lab this morning. 10 a.m. high 80s, 90% humidity. I felt like I was melting. St. Louis has so many trees; their flowers have been replaced by soothing, thick green leaves. I'm going to miss that. Lewis and Clark must have really been overwhelmed by the lush, green forest in the area when they began their journey.
The peonies are done. So are the lilacs. The day lilies are in full glory. The hydrangea have just started bursting in mixes of blues and pinks. It reminds me of the scene from Sleeping Beauty (Disney) when the fairies are fighting over which color to make Aurora's birthday dress. The dasies just started and the purple coneflowers are thick with buds as is the butterfly bush. There is something about the thick, jungle heat of summers in St. Louis that is relaxing. I love being outside and drinking a cold drink in the shade and reading a book. Maybe it's like a natural sauna. It forces you to slow down. If it weren't for all the insects!
I knew it was summer as I walked to lab this morning. 10 a.m. high 80s, 90% humidity. I felt like I was melting. St. Louis has so many trees; their flowers have been replaced by soothing, thick green leaves. I'm going to miss that. Lewis and Clark must have really been overwhelmed by the lush, green forest in the area when they began their journey.
The peonies are done. So are the lilacs. The day lilies are in full glory. The hydrangea have just started bursting in mixes of blues and pinks. It reminds me of the scene from Sleeping Beauty (Disney) when the fairies are fighting over which color to make Aurora's birthday dress. The dasies just started and the purple coneflowers are thick with buds as is the butterfly bush. There is something about the thick, jungle heat of summers in St. Louis that is relaxing. I love being outside and drinking a cold drink in the shade and reading a book. Maybe it's like a natural sauna. It forces you to slow down. If it weren't for all the insects!
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Late night in lab
Another week is about to begin. I think I could use a few days just to myself. I finally feel caught up and back on track. I really like the rules I've set for myself (even though I totally blew bedtime last night--2:30 a.m. is not okay!). I'm trying to follow them. They're helping me get into a routine.
I'm getting these late-night urges to work in lab lately. That's where I've been all weekend. Here I am again. I could have done it earlier, but, no. I had to wait until almost 6 to come in for 4 hours. Ugh. My own fault. It will feel good to start off Monday with everything in order.
Today was HOT again. We went for a 4 mile run this evening around 7 p.m. (Yea, me!), and it was in the 90s with the humidity. Eck. No wonder it felt so hard. I've been sore afterwards, but I'm doing it. I know if I keep at it, it will get easier.
I played in the garden today too. Playing for me is weeding and deadheading. It was great. I have never seen the garden like this. Everything is taking over. It's like a jungle. I can't believe it because I remember when it was a bunch of dirt. I saw a baby praying mantis. They're very good for gardens. I also saw the most adoreable baby squirrel trying to get bird seed out of the feeder. He was soooo cute.
Last year, I found a nest of confused baby squirrels at the base of a tree on one of my runs. One was trying to cross the bike path and was wandering a little too close to the road for my comfort. I tried to chase him back to the nest but he was too little to be afraid of me. Instead, he mistook my leg for a sapling and climbed right up! I picked him up and carried him back to his brothers and sisters. Oh, God, was he cute. (Another time, I pushed a confused, medium-sized, pissed-off snapping turtle off the bike path but he wasn't as cute).
The only thing that sucked about gardening was all the bugs. I have mosquitoe bites everywhere b/c I forgot the DEET. I think I counted 16 or so. I hate them b/c I scratch, and the bites scab up and leave a scar. I have them on my neck, wrists, ankles, shoulders, back, legs, fingers, and 5 on my ass. Guess my ass is tasty. Gross. Something also stung my knuckle and it hurts like a motherf.cker when I where gloves in lab. I guess I have war wounds from gardening to show off now.
I'm really trying to stick to my new workout plan. I think it's so cool how your body tells you how hard to push it when you run. You don't have to think, just listen. I'm always sluggish for the 1st half mile as I warm up. Then I pick up the pace but I know if I push it too hard b/c I'll start to feel a little light-headed. My body knows just how fast to go and adjusts automatically when it's hot outside. There's all these gadgets people use (heart rate monitors, for instance, which I use sometimes, I admit), but it's so nice to go sans watch or monitor and just listen to your body.
I'm getting these late-night urges to work in lab lately. That's where I've been all weekend. Here I am again. I could have done it earlier, but, no. I had to wait until almost 6 to come in for 4 hours. Ugh. My own fault. It will feel good to start off Monday with everything in order.
Today was HOT again. We went for a 4 mile run this evening around 7 p.m. (Yea, me!), and it was in the 90s with the humidity. Eck. No wonder it felt so hard. I've been sore afterwards, but I'm doing it. I know if I keep at it, it will get easier.
I played in the garden today too. Playing for me is weeding and deadheading. It was great. I have never seen the garden like this. Everything is taking over. It's like a jungle. I can't believe it because I remember when it was a bunch of dirt. I saw a baby praying mantis. They're very good for gardens. I also saw the most adoreable baby squirrel trying to get bird seed out of the feeder. He was soooo cute.
Last year, I found a nest of confused baby squirrels at the base of a tree on one of my runs. One was trying to cross the bike path and was wandering a little too close to the road for my comfort. I tried to chase him back to the nest but he was too little to be afraid of me. Instead, he mistook my leg for a sapling and climbed right up! I picked him up and carried him back to his brothers and sisters. Oh, God, was he cute. (Another time, I pushed a confused, medium-sized, pissed-off snapping turtle off the bike path but he wasn't as cute).
The only thing that sucked about gardening was all the bugs. I have mosquitoe bites everywhere b/c I forgot the DEET. I think I counted 16 or so. I hate them b/c I scratch, and the bites scab up and leave a scar. I have them on my neck, wrists, ankles, shoulders, back, legs, fingers, and 5 on my ass. Guess my ass is tasty. Gross. Something also stung my knuckle and it hurts like a motherf.cker when I where gloves in lab. I guess I have war wounds from gardening to show off now.
I'm really trying to stick to my new workout plan. I think it's so cool how your body tells you how hard to push it when you run. You don't have to think, just listen. I'm always sluggish for the 1st half mile as I warm up. Then I pick up the pace but I know if I push it too hard b/c I'll start to feel a little light-headed. My body knows just how fast to go and adjusts automatically when it's hot outside. There's all these gadgets people use (heart rate monitors, for instance, which I use sometimes, I admit), but it's so nice to go sans watch or monitor and just listen to your body.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Sat calorie calculation
bowl Honey Nut Cheerios
w/skim milk 150
3 eggs sunny-side-up 210
1/2 cup coffee 20
1/2 Fandango salad (Panera) 225
w/dressing on side
turkey sandwich w/light mayo 350
grande skim latte 120
spaghetti w/sauce 400
frozen veggies 50
yogurt 150
1 cup coffee 50
Healthy Choice ice cream bar 150
Total (in): 1725
Total (out): about 1600-1800
Net: Finally! About right!
Okay, okay, I didn't exercise, but I was so sore!
w/skim milk 150
3 eggs sunny-side-up 210
1/2 cup coffee 20
1/2 Fandango salad (Panera) 225
w/dressing on side
turkey sandwich w/light mayo 350
grande skim latte 120
spaghetti w/sauce 400
frozen veggies 50
yogurt 150
1 cup coffee 50
Healthy Choice ice cream bar 150
Total (in): 1725
Total (out): about 1600-1800
Net: Finally! About right!
Okay, okay, I didn't exercise, but I was so sore!
Detailed summary (calories in vs. calories out)
6/3/05
bagel w/cream cheese 500
grande skim latte 120
cheese lasagna 350
yogurt 150
1/2 Fandango salad 225
w/dressing on side (Panera)
1/2 turkey sandwich 200
w/swiss and light mayo
rice w/soy sauce 200
frozen veggies 150
tapioca fat-free pudding 100
bowl Honey Nut Cheerios
w/skim 150
chamomile tea w/skim 20
Total (in): 2315
Total (out): 1600
400 (4 mile run--grueling b.t.w.; and I'm sore today so I'm very out of shape)
2000
Still 500 calories too much! w.t.f.?
bagel w/cream cheese 500
grande skim latte 120
cheese lasagna 350
yogurt 150
1/2 Fandango salad 225
w/dressing on side (Panera)
1/2 turkey sandwich 200
w/swiss and light mayo
rice w/soy sauce 200
frozen veggies 150
tapioca fat-free pudding 100
bowl Honey Nut Cheerios
w/skim 150
chamomile tea w/skim 20
Total (in): 2315
Total (out): 1600
400 (4 mile run--grueling b.t.w.; and I'm sore today so I'm very out of shape)
2000
Still 500 calories too much! w.t.f.?
Following the rules Day 3 (6/3/05)
Did very well today even though I went to bed late last night. Babs is doing much better, by the way! Anyway, I have been very productive. Full, busy day in lab, snuck in a grueling 4 mile run, and went home to change litterboxes and vacuum the house. Whew! Exercise? Check. Dessertless? Check. That's a start. I did go to bed about an hour late though, causing me to wake up 1 hour late on Saturday (1 am to 9 am). I'm an 8-hour girl! I have to work on the bedtime thing.
Saturday was less ambitious, in part due to the draining 95 degree, 90% humidity weather. I definitely broke a few rules on this one! After a nice massage, we went back to the house, and I took a comatose 3-hour nap. I love 3-hour naps! Even though I took the nap before 5, it was way too long, and it's screwing up my bedtime tonight too. Especially b/c I got this motivational bug at 10 p.m. and just had to go into lab to soothe my paranoia. So that's what I chose to do on a Sat. night. So I'm a nerd, so what?
Saturday was less ambitious, in part due to the draining 95 degree, 90% humidity weather. I definitely broke a few rules on this one! After a nice massage, we went back to the house, and I took a comatose 3-hour nap. I love 3-hour naps! Even though I took the nap before 5, it was way too long, and it's screwing up my bedtime tonight too. Especially b/c I got this motivational bug at 10 p.m. and just had to go into lab to soothe my paranoia. So that's what I chose to do on a Sat. night. So I'm a nerd, so what?
Friday, June 03, 2005
Following the Rules--Day 2
Last night, I was very good. I didn't have dessert! Go me! I went to bed a little late (12:45) but I woke up at 7:50. Yes! I also biked for an hour. Yes! Plus, I studied and read papers at home and got ideas for experiments. I'm on fire.
bagel w/cream cheese: 400
2 grande skim lattes: 240
potato chips: 140
turkey sandwich
w/light mayo & swiss: 450
Diet Pepsi: 0
Honey Nut Cheerios
w/skim: 150
yogurt: 150
mixed frozen veggies: 50
rice w/soy sauce: 120
steak (broiled): 400
cup coffee: 50
tea w/skim: 20
Total (in): 2170
RMR: 1250
Normal Day: 1500-1800
Exercise: about 500 calories
Total (out): about 2000 calories
still about 200 calories in excess
Summary Thursday's workout:
(Spinning 60 minutes 10-11 pm
base-building; aerobic video
4x5 min 90 rpm
4x4 min 100 rpm
3x3 min 110 rpm
3 sprints 1 min each
30-60 seconds rest in b/tw each set
H.R. min 125; max 160; average: 140
Mood: energizing! (wore iPod; music helped)
bagel w/cream cheese: 400
2 grande skim lattes: 240
potato chips: 140
turkey sandwich
w/light mayo & swiss: 450
Diet Pepsi: 0
Honey Nut Cheerios
w/skim: 150
yogurt: 150
mixed frozen veggies: 50
rice w/soy sauce: 120
steak (broiled): 400
cup coffee: 50
tea w/skim: 20
Total (in): 2170
RMR: 1250
Normal Day: 1500-1800
Exercise: about 500 calories
Total (out): about 2000 calories
still about 200 calories in excess
Summary Thursday's workout:
(Spinning 60 minutes 10-11 pm
base-building; aerobic video
4x5 min 90 rpm
4x4 min 100 rpm
3x3 min 110 rpm
3 sprints 1 min each
30-60 seconds rest in b/tw each set
H.R. min 125; max 160; average: 140
Mood: energizing! (wore iPod; music helped)
Healing shoulder, incredible birds, and poor Babs
Things are going well. I have felt very productive lately, which I am relieved about. I don't know why but I've been working hard at it so maybe that's part of it. My stitches came out yesterday, and it looks really good. The doc doesn't need to do anything else with it; it's not cancer. He just told me to watch my moles since I may be predisposed to having them change. No problem. I'm good at being paranoid.
Yesterday, at lunch, this little female sparrow hoped onto the table (we were eating outside), looking for a handout. I broke off a piece of a potato chip but couldn't place it on the table w/o it falling through since it was made out of an iron-grid like thing. So I held it in my hand and reached my hand out. Without hesitation, this plucky little bird hopped right over and grabbed it out of my hand! Can you believe it? What a brave little thing!
There was this other time a starling was trying to drink water out of the pool on a hot summer day in July (not so good for the poor bird but the apartment we were living in didn't maintain the pool all that well anyway so there wasn't much chlorine). She couldn't reach her beak over far enough from the side to get to the water. I gently splashed the water over the side of the pool, trying to make a puddle but it wasn't enough for a drink. She looked at me and hopped onto my shoulder, hopped down my arm to my hand and allowed me to bring her to the middle of the pool so she could reach down and get a drink of water. She hung out there for several minutes much to the astonishment of everyone in the pool. When she noticed that everyone was staring at her, she took off. That was so incredible.
Today, I'm very worried about Babs. She had a tummy ache when I woke up. Didn't want to eat, lying listlessly in her litterbox, tummy hard on one side, and had an overall dull, grayish complexion. I gave her 2.5 cc Propulsid orally (stimulates the gut) and massaged her tummy for about 30 minutes. She finally moved away to a quiet, cool spot. I watched her for another 15 minutes before reluctantly coming to lab. She's had it before--gastric stasis. I'm going to go home a few times today to check on her. If she's still not feeling well this afternoon, I'm taking her to the vet. They'll give her an I.V. and an injection of Propulsid, which hopefully, will make her 100%. Otherwise, I'll have to force-feed, which sucks (for both her and me). I hope she's okay. I'm worried. Poor little girl.
Yesterday, at lunch, this little female sparrow hoped onto the table (we were eating outside), looking for a handout. I broke off a piece of a potato chip but couldn't place it on the table w/o it falling through since it was made out of an iron-grid like thing. So I held it in my hand and reached my hand out. Without hesitation, this plucky little bird hopped right over and grabbed it out of my hand! Can you believe it? What a brave little thing!
There was this other time a starling was trying to drink water out of the pool on a hot summer day in July (not so good for the poor bird but the apartment we were living in didn't maintain the pool all that well anyway so there wasn't much chlorine). She couldn't reach her beak over far enough from the side to get to the water. I gently splashed the water over the side of the pool, trying to make a puddle but it wasn't enough for a drink. She looked at me and hopped onto my shoulder, hopped down my arm to my hand and allowed me to bring her to the middle of the pool so she could reach down and get a drink of water. She hung out there for several minutes much to the astonishment of everyone in the pool. When she noticed that everyone was staring at her, she took off. That was so incredible.
Today, I'm very worried about Babs. She had a tummy ache when I woke up. Didn't want to eat, lying listlessly in her litterbox, tummy hard on one side, and had an overall dull, grayish complexion. I gave her 2.5 cc Propulsid orally (stimulates the gut) and massaged her tummy for about 30 minutes. She finally moved away to a quiet, cool spot. I watched her for another 15 minutes before reluctantly coming to lab. She's had it before--gastric stasis. I'm going to go home a few times today to check on her. If she's still not feeling well this afternoon, I'm taking her to the vet. They'll give her an I.V. and an injection of Propulsid, which hopefully, will make her 100%. Otherwise, I'll have to force-feed, which sucks (for both her and me). I hope she's okay. I'm worried. Poor little girl.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Calorie recap--breaking the rules
For Wed., 6/1:
bagel w/cream cheese: 400
grande skim latte: 120
chocolate torte: 350
turkey sandwich on
wheat w/mayo: 400
fruit: 100
diet Pepsi: 0
chicken w/sauce
and wild rice: 400
bread w/butter: 200
salad w/dressing: 100
caramel apple pie: 500
red wine: 50
tea w/skim milk: 20
Total: 2640 calories
RMR: about 1250
normal day (no exercise): about 1800 calories
about 840 calories surplus
bagel w/cream cheese: 400
grande skim latte: 120
chocolate torte: 350
turkey sandwich on
wheat w/mayo: 400
fruit: 100
diet Pepsi: 0
chicken w/sauce
and wild rice: 400
bread w/butter: 200
salad w/dressing: 100
caramel apple pie: 500
red wine: 50
tea w/skim milk: 20
Total: 2640 calories
RMR: about 1250
normal day (no exercise): about 1800 calories
about 840 calories surplus
Following all the Rules
I am beginning to attempt to follow my rules. I had dessert last night at the seminar. And, because of the seminar, I didn't find time to exercise. Okay, that's 2 rules broken. But...I went to bed by midnight and woke up by 8 and felt well rested! So I feel like I broke even. Going to be early and waking up early is EXTREMELY difficult for me. If sleeping were an Olympic sport, I'd have a chest of gold medals. I'm proud I was in bed, lights out by midnight, even though that is still late. That's about an hour or two earlier than normal. And waking up by 8 is late for most, but it's about an hour or two earlier for me. Now, I just have to work on the other rules.
Inertia support
At the seminar I attended last night, the speaker talked about clinical research in obesity and metabolism. Very interesting. He suggested a model in which once an obese patient loses weight, the body adjusts and adopts a "starvation state" to try to channel all new incoming calories to fat in order to regain what was lost. Cool idea. It just made me think of the inertia thing again and how hard it is to change and how important it is to make small changes and be consistent and give yourself a routine to follow. Once you're used to the new routine, you adapt. We're all like pendulums swinging from one extreme to the other and trying to seek a balance somewhere in the center. However, change is always occurring, and change is importanat for the development and evolution of our beings. I just think this emphasizes why it's important to try to incorporate small steps and changes in order to reach a big goal. I also read this paper on the connection of the circadian rhythm and eating patterns. Our metabolism is connected to our sleep cycle. Everything is cyclical. This may explain why people who don't get enough sleep tend to gain weight. I guess your body thanks you for putting it into a routine. We'll see...
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Inertia
I have a new theory. It's called inertia. Okay, it's not new. Anyway, I think I have an explanation for why I've been so lazy these past few weeks. A body at rest stays at rest. And why at the end of such a busy day, I feel all reved up and ready to go. A body in motion tends to stay in motion. Therefore, if I can get into the routine of being more active, it will feel more normal, and I'll tend to stay that way. See how that works?
I did an experiment today!!! Yea! Just an IP, but still, it felt good to do something. Plus, my adipocytes are differentiating, and they are gorgeous! All sorts of beautiful lipid droplets strung around the nuclei and clustered in the cytosol like shiny, little beads or pearl necklaces. I'm so proud of these little guys. I get to do more experiments tomorrow. Hurray! The waiting is over. I like being busy in lab. It gets me going.
I feel like I've done a ton today. Now, I have to run off to this fancy schmancy dinner and seminar at the Chase b/c I'm "high-powered" as Jason says (whatever). Whew!
I did an experiment today!!! Yea! Just an IP, but still, it felt good to do something. Plus, my adipocytes are differentiating, and they are gorgeous! All sorts of beautiful lipid droplets strung around the nuclei and clustered in the cytosol like shiny, little beads or pearl necklaces. I'm so proud of these little guys. I get to do more experiments tomorrow. Hurray! The waiting is over. I like being busy in lab. It gets me going.
I feel like I've done a ton today. Now, I have to run off to this fancy schmancy dinner and seminar at the Chase b/c I'm "high-powered" as Jason says (whatever). Whew!
Moving fiasco
Fiasco--that would be a good name for a horse. I like way it rolls off your tongue. Fiasco.
Anywho, that's not what this post is about. This post is about how crazy it is to move. A headache, I am getting (Yoda speak). So, the plan is very complicated now, but I've made all the reservations. Yipee! Here's how the twisted triangle of moving will play out:
1. ABF drops off 28-foot trailer. We pack it. They pick it up.
2. We fly out to San Diego 1-2 days before ABF gets there.
3. Take cab to U-Haul place.
4. Pick up 10-ft U-Haul truck (you'll understand in a sec).
5. Drive to apartment and meet dad with Nissan pick-up truck and bed.
6. Unload bed, park pick-up truck in parking spot (for Jason until we bring out car in Dec.)
7. Shop for groceries and cleaning supplies and get apartment ready for move-in. (Utilities are scheduled to begin the day before we arrive).
8. Bunk out in new, empty apartment as we wait for ABF (or stay in hotel). Hmmm. Money? Or comfort? Hmmmm.
9. ABF drops off trailer at apartment. Meet mover we have hired for the day to help with heavy stuff.
10. Unload sister's stuff into U-Haul truck.
11. Unload rest of stuff into apartment.
12. Dad drives sister's stuff up to parent's house until sister's apartment becomes available in September.
13. Help Jason finish unpacking. Fly back to St. Louis.
14. Jason begins graduate school.
15. Defend in December.
16. DHL ship rest of stuff to San Diego.
17. Load up bunnies and suitcases into Corolla and drive back to San Diego in December.
Phew! I'm tired just thinking about this. I have ABF, U-Haul, and plane ticket reservations. I have packed 50% of stuff. I have the plan worked out with parents and sister. I have the gas and electric set up. Am I forgetting something?
I keep getting criticized for planning everything so early. "You're not moving until December," they say. "Actually, it's August," I reply. Anyway, why should I be ashamed that I'm organized? That I'm planning ahead. It's only a little over 2 months away. And it's going to get hectic. Why not plan it now, when I have the time, when I can get the best rates, and not have to worry about it anymore?
Anywho, that's not what this post is about. This post is about how crazy it is to move. A headache, I am getting (Yoda speak). So, the plan is very complicated now, but I've made all the reservations. Yipee! Here's how the twisted triangle of moving will play out:
1. ABF drops off 28-foot trailer. We pack it. They pick it up.
2. We fly out to San Diego 1-2 days before ABF gets there.
3. Take cab to U-Haul place.
4. Pick up 10-ft U-Haul truck (you'll understand in a sec).
5. Drive to apartment and meet dad with Nissan pick-up truck and bed.
6. Unload bed, park pick-up truck in parking spot (for Jason until we bring out car in Dec.)
7. Shop for groceries and cleaning supplies and get apartment ready for move-in. (Utilities are scheduled to begin the day before we arrive).
8. Bunk out in new, empty apartment as we wait for ABF (or stay in hotel). Hmmm. Money? Or comfort? Hmmmm.
9. ABF drops off trailer at apartment. Meet mover we have hired for the day to help with heavy stuff.
10. Unload sister's stuff into U-Haul truck.
11. Unload rest of stuff into apartment.
12. Dad drives sister's stuff up to parent's house until sister's apartment becomes available in September.
13. Help Jason finish unpacking. Fly back to St. Louis.
14. Jason begins graduate school.
15. Defend in December.
16. DHL ship rest of stuff to San Diego.
17. Load up bunnies and suitcases into Corolla and drive back to San Diego in December.
Phew! I'm tired just thinking about this. I have ABF, U-Haul, and plane ticket reservations. I have packed 50% of stuff. I have the plan worked out with parents and sister. I have the gas and electric set up. Am I forgetting something?
I keep getting criticized for planning everything so early. "You're not moving until December," they say. "Actually, it's August," I reply. Anyway, why should I be ashamed that I'm organized? That I'm planning ahead. It's only a little over 2 months away. And it's going to get hectic. Why not plan it now, when I have the time, when I can get the best rates, and not have to worry about it anymore?
New Rules
I'm so mad at myself for being such a lazy slob. I am reactivating my drill seargant and kicking my ass into high gear. I'm hoping that by October, I'll be back to tip-top triathlon shape, just for the sake of my own self-worth. Here are some rules I'm setting, effective today:
1. Exercise 6 days a week for at least 40 minutes where my heart rate is above 125 the whole time.
2. Weight lift at least 2 days a week.
3. On one of these days, include fun exercise that I don't normally do (basketball, tennis, roller blading, etc.). This can substitute for exercise stipulated in rule #1.
4. Eliminate sweets and desserts from my diet for 1 entire consecutive week. After this time period had elapsed successfully, I am allowed a small dessert (300 calories or less), measured out, every other day, or less.
5. Begin evaluating diet, planning out meals, and counting calories to eat more healthfully.
6. Be in bed, lights out, by midnight each night, no exceptions.
7. Get out of bed by 8 a.m. the latest, every morning during the week, and 8:30 a.m. on weekends.
8. Naps must be restricted to 1 hour or less and must be before 5 p.m., no exceptions.
I think this is a good start.
1. Exercise 6 days a week for at least 40 minutes where my heart rate is above 125 the whole time.
2. Weight lift at least 2 days a week.
3. On one of these days, include fun exercise that I don't normally do (basketball, tennis, roller blading, etc.). This can substitute for exercise stipulated in rule #1.
4. Eliminate sweets and desserts from my diet for 1 entire consecutive week. After this time period had elapsed successfully, I am allowed a small dessert (300 calories or less), measured out, every other day, or less.
5. Begin evaluating diet, planning out meals, and counting calories to eat more healthfully.
6. Be in bed, lights out, by midnight each night, no exceptions.
7. Get out of bed by 8 a.m. the latest, every morning during the week, and 8:30 a.m. on weekends.
8. Naps must be restricted to 1 hour or less and must be before 5 p.m., no exceptions.
I think this is a good start.
I have all these pics to show you...
I went out in the garden today and took all these fancy-schmancy photos with my high-tech, state-of-the-art digital camera. I was excited to post pics of the gorgeous flowers coming into bloom. Since it's my last season in St. Louis, I'm trying to document everything. You would have loved the close-ups of the deep purple clematis flowers, spiraling up the trellis, bordered in the background by light, airy pink blooms on the rose shrub. You might have also enjoyed some photos of pink Old English roses, blooming boldly for the first year on the vine I transplanted last fall to a sunnier spot. It had rings upon rings of petals; I've never seen a rose stuffed with so many petals. It also had a light, fresh, sweet fragrance--perfect for my sensitive nose. But, alas, when I went back inside to retrieve the card reader, I couldn't find it. Neither could I find the adaptor that connects my nifty camera to the computer. Did I lose it? No. I packed it. I have packed almost everything. Damn! Oh, well. I still have the camera. I will document everything for now, and I guess you'll have to wait until December. Argh. Well, at least you can imagine the photos of my pretty garden in St. Louis.
Imagine pictures here...
Imagine pictures here...
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