Friday, January 06, 2006

Settling In

I guess I'm more tired than I realized. I've been sleeping A LOT. It's been hard to do anything. I'm totally unpacked now, and I know where all the local stores are and stuff. It's overwhelming. San Diego has so much stuff. It's been luxurious just to sleep in and watch t.v. and not do anything. I have to say that it's weird with it being 80 degrees in January. I'm actually hot!

One of my New Year's resolutions is to get back into shape and begin eating more healthfully. Boy, that's a lot harder said than done! Little and often. Little and often. It's hard because I used to be in excellent shape, and now I'm just a blob. At least my butt and boobs are bigger! I don't really need to lose weight but I definitely need a whole-body toning job and endurance building. I did break out the weights and mat last night and sweated through an hour weight-lifting session. So that's something. It's hard not to overdo it because I want to just jump back into where I was. Jason took me out on a 4-mile run on Monday (jerk--I only wanted to go 3). We went around the UCSD campus. I saw their awesome Olympic-sized pool. I can't wait to get signed up for that. Plus, we discovered all these trails around this never-ending, winding canyon only half-a-mile from the apartment. Lots of opportunities. The apartment has a 24-hour gym too. Bike lanes on every road. It's overwhelming.

The bunnies are happy. Taz and Oscar are inseparable. They play "chase" and "follow-the-leader" like brothers. Babs still hates Oscar. She has to be separated from him at all times. She Taz goes where he likes. Babs doesn't mind as long as she gets attention from me. She stays in one room at night, and Oscar likes snoozing under the bed during the day so they've worked it out. Sigh. I've never seen Oscar play so much. He's quite mischievous. Such a change from his old, grumpy, shy demeanor.

I'm trying to get over the feeling of being overwhelmed. San Diego is so BIG. There is so much to do, so many shops, so many choices. At some point, you have to say, enough, and just go out and do your own thing and be yourself. It's hard not to get swallowed up. You need to remember who you are and what you want. I used to think bigger was better (typical American). Bigger city, better weather, more choices, etc., etc. Plus, I grew up in California, and I've always wanted to move back. However, I've lived in many places between here and then. I've come to realize happiness has nothing to do with money or things or where you live. It can influence your state of mind, sure, but they are just empty things. What matters is knowing who you are, what your goals are, what you want out of life, and making them happen. Surrounding yourself with people you care about and who care about you. Taking control of your own destiny. I was happy in St. Louis, not because I liked St. Louis, but because I created a niche for myself. Between school and friends, volunteering and exercising, and riding George, I created a life for myself then that kept me in the moment and defined who I was, making me feel fulfilled and satisfied. Now, I'm starting over. I need to remember those principles so I don't get swallowed up by this larger society so I can carve out a new niche.

Happy 2006 everyone!

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