Sorry for the negative posts these last few days. I've been having a major attack of anxiety, which has now turned into full-blown depression. Typical. I love it when this happens. It's so frustrating. I blow everything out of proportion and am ultra sensitive. Someone doesn't say "hi" the right way, and my day is ruined. Just ridiculous. And the whole time, I'm telling myself, "You're being ridiculous." It doesn't matter. I missed exercise of any kind today. That's the 4th day in a row, and I totally beat myself up over it. Here is how NOT to run your day:
1. wake up at 8. decide you don't feel like getting out of bed and lay there in a daze until 9:40 when you can't stand lying down anymore.
2. rush around in a frenzy to get to lab as quickly as possible, feeling panicked the entire time that you're going to get fired.
3. leave apartment 20 minutes after waking with bed un-made (bunnies fed though), hair in ponytail, glasses on, no make-up.
4. Breakfast consists of banana shared with bunnies and latte upon getting to lab.
5. Get right to work and have a rather productive day of isolating RNA, reading, and outlining papers.
6. Let RNA pellets dry too long and have reallly hard-ass time resuspending them.
7. Spec them anyway and get low yields; don't know if it's because pellets aren't resuspended.
8. Decide to try again with the resuspension and spec issue another day.
9. Scramble for lunch at 2:30. Cafeteria's are all closed. Getting car and driving somewhere takes forever. Go to vending machine and buy a breakfast burrito, which I microwave, and eat because I'm starving. It was disgusting.
10. Drink another latte.
11. Skip late afternoon run b/c worried about PI's opinion.
12. Finally head home, feeling guilty about not working hard enough and not meeting expectations.
13. Realize at home I forgot to prepare the overnight incubation of the plate with capture antibody for ELISA. Guess that will have to be delayed a day. Strike 3.
14. In complete panic-mode now. Feed bunnies, eat cereal, fall asleep for 2 hours on couch.
15. Wake up and mope. Jason gives me toast and coffee. Coffee only makes me anxious.
16. 11:30 take a sleeping pill (Ambien) and decide the night is unsalvagable and had been a complete waste.
17. Then decide to try and do something. Change litterboxes, water plants, do clothes, dishes, pay bills, balance checkbook, all as sleeping pill is kicking in.
Note: Balancing checkbook while on sleeping pill is extremely arduous and error-prone.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.