Can I just say how much I hate Valentine's Day? For couples, there's pressure to be "romantic". There's nothing more un-romantic than a Hallmark holiday and marked up prices at crowded restaurants for luke-warm, mediocre food. Second, I hate roses. They've never brought me anything than bad luck (remind me to tell you the story of the day of the black roses). Anything laden with thorns sharp enough to draw blood should be warning enough to stay away. Has anyone ever tried to grow their own roses? They're pest magnets! Finally, chocolates are irresistable but they also make me fat. And I eat chocolate all the time. In fact, I'm trying to stay away from chocolate. Isn't it a little perverse to feed my addiction? In some circles, the romantic wooer might be labeled an enabler.
Needless to say, I have a lot of sh*t going on right now. As usual, this isn't the venue to discuss it (that's what my journal is for...and my memoir...check back in a year). Anwyay, as always, when the going gets tough, yadda, yadda, yadda, I go for a run. Last night was no different. I brought the dogs for company; we were all emotionally distraught (they feeding off me, of course). We all needed it. The cool, damp air smelled faintly of lilacs. Spring comes early in San Diego. The nighttime darkness encompassed me in a protective, hidden blanket. And so I rqan. I thought it would be more difficult. My head felt heavy and my mind was so clouded I couldn't see straight. But my feet remembered how to run so the rest of me went along for the ride. With each footstep, my thoughts slowed. Although my chest was burning and my legs pounding the pavement so hard, I had to pull on the dogs' leashes to encourage them to keep up, my mind went silent and still. Everything around me might be a whirlwind but at least I found a way to create stillness inside.