Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Sorry (not really)

To the girl swimming in my lane at masters the other morning:

I'm sorry I moved into your lane after the warm-up. The coach told me to because I was just too fast for the slow lane. I'm sorry I kept hitting your feet during the set. I tried really hard not to bump into you; it wasn't intentional. I tried to slow down and swim your pace but it was really hard for me go that slowly. I kept having to stop and put my head up and doggie paddle, waiting for you to move ahead. I'm sorry I asked if I could go in front of you in between sets. I didn't think you would mind since I kept bumping into you anyway. I'm sorry I was having a good day and swimming so fast. I'm sorry you couldn't keep up. I'm sorry it pissed you off so much that you scowled at me when I introduced myself and refused to tell me your name. I'm sorry you had to get out early. I hope it wasn't because I exhausted you. I'm really sorry you couldn't take a little ass-kickin'. Maybe you should learn how to swim if it pisses you off so much. I think I could lend you some floaties from my boyfriend's son to assist you. Anyway, I wanted to let you know how truly sorry I am.

21 comments:

Mary said...

That's funny!

Ron said...

Agreed, very funny. There's only one thing worse than having to throttle back in a crowded lane and that's when someone doesn't reciprocate after a friendly introduction. Maybe lane assignments should be based upon how personable each person is. Give the unfriendlies their own lane I say.

teacherwoman said...

Hehe :)

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO! I hope you smiled all the while HAHAHAAAA

Michelle Panik O'Neill said...

Ouch.

Colleen said...

HA! Love it!

Ordinarylife said...

Very good!

mangotriathlete said...

LOL, lane assignments are hard to figure. As a slow swimmer, I feel bad if there is no space during an open (ie not reserved or assigned) swim and a "fastie" is forced to be in a lane with a turtle like me! But unfriendly, gack!

Kevin said...

Thats funny!!Go you

Mallie said...

If she was that obnoxious she probably deserved it...but don't forget, you were probably a slow swimmer sometime in the past. That she didn't let you go around her was her fault, sure, but you know what I'm saying.

Rainmaker said...

Ha! Funniest post I've read all morning!

Sara said...

I'm a slowpoke and am always cognizant of the fasties (esp now when there is just one lane during public swim and there are IMers like you swimming) so that I can let them pass me when they need to. It is just proper etiquette - you followed it by asking and by touching her feet - too bad she had to be such a sourpuss!!

Nikemom said...

doggie paddle ass-kickin! glad i'm not that girl. lol

Formulaic said...

Ha! and Ouch!

An ass kicking and a slam all in the same day!

tracy said...

We've all seen your swim times...perhaps you should give this morning's "slow" swimmer the same break that countless people have given you during races. Turn that frown upside-down.

Backpacker said...

You should have offered her a ride on your back.

Julie said...

Hee! I'm that slow swimmer, but at least I'm a friendly one. And hell yeah, you should feel proud of your speed. From all I've read, you work your ass off! Besides, you weren't frustrated with her speed, but her attitude.

Ange said...

Good post. Very funny..sounds like she needs a serious attitude adjustment. Good for you.

Anonymous said...

Geez, glad you are a fastie, but how about a little humility. If you really did need to get past couldn't you have just waited and asked her before jumping in.

Rachel said...

Just to clarify--I never said I was fast. I'm not. I have no problem swimming behind people. I'm used to it. I was nothing but polite to her and her attitude was totally uncalled for. Besides, this post is more of a tongue-in-cheek. To be taken light-heartedly!

watchsell said...

It was my pleasure to visit your blog. It is really a mirecle to visit your blog in this wide world. And I also have the feeling that it was really a pity that we didn't meet each other earlier. Because the kindness and warmth in your blog can make me completely relaxed and happy. I hope that you will visit my blog too to see if you can have the same feeling.

afake rolex watch replica

http://www.lowestmall.com
http://www.easyforbuy.com
http://www.ecforshop.com
http://www.gomykick.com
http://www.onestoptown.com
http://www.rolex8u.com
http://www.watchinstyle.com
http://www.yourshop.cc
http://www.instylewatch.com
http://www.sellbestshoes.com
http://www.buynikeshoes.com
http://www.PICKHANDBAG.COM
http://www.PICKMYWATCH.COM
http://www.PICKTHEBAG.COM
http://www.ROLEXWATCHFORU.COM
http://www.REPLICAWATCHFORU.COM
http://www.wearmyrolexnow.com