Jason's off the prednisone and just as sick as before. Back to square one. They put him on a 2nd course and scheduled an appointment to put tubes in his ears. The doc doesn't know if it will help but it's the least invasive procedure to try. From what I've read about Meneire's that's about all we can do right now. So he's at home, bedridden and miserable. He's lost another 5 lbs, bringing the total up to 20 lbs. He begged me to turn the ceiling fan off this morning because it was exacerbating his dizziness. He's been too dizzy to even shave lately. Poor thing.
I had minor surgery on one of my dental implants on Monday. A 1.5 hr procedure turned into a 3.5 hr ordeal, leaving me with an insane headache from a sore jaw, funny neck contortions, and vibrations from the drill. Ugh. I'm stuck with a temporary crown that's for "smiling, not eating beef jerky." Okay, but what about swimming, biking, and running? It's only a matter of time before that damn piece of crap falls off. Yippee. I'm a 29-year old that needs denture adhesive.
Anyway, I've been slogging through my workouts. I'm still in the Prep phase but I can't believe how out of shape I've become. I know I took 2 months off because of my sinus infection but I feel like I've lost everything. Plus, everytime I pick up a tri book or mag, I feel like Joe Friel is there quoting me all the stats on how much your VO2 max decreases after 48 hours off. It's totally depressing. I can't have lost that much, can I?
I haven't given up hope completely. The workouts feel good. I'm hoping in a few weeks time, I will start to feel better. Believe it or not, I'm feeling the worst on the bike. I have NO power. No umph. And with all the hills around here, I'm getting annihilated. My neck and shoulders have been KILLING me so I'm back to the bike shop for a(nother) bike fitting this afternoon. Sigh.
Anyway, just when I'm feeling miserable and depressed about how out of shape I am and how slow I am, I go back to a previous draft I'd been working on and realized I can take a different perspective on all this:
I'm enjoying this Prep phase. I have enough experience now to know my fitness will come back. I'm enjoying the journey. This is becoming much more of a spiritual adventure for me. One thing that hit me the other day is that as triathletes, we are always trying to better ourselves in a lifelong quest for improvement. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. We wake up and expect the best from ourselves and take the best care we can of our bodies so we can perform a little bit better each day. And it feels good. It's such a rewarding process. I love how we're always learning and striving to improve. Those are the things I crave as someone who's adopted the triathlete lifestyle. It's that "superhero" feeling that our lives are nothing but ordinary and we are unique individuals with the capability of doing amazing things.
So I'm going back out there because it's easy to improve when the only direction to go in is up.