I'm so frustrated right now. The end of the week didn't as I had hoped. I did my long run on Saturday instead of Sunday and the long bike on Sunday. This would have been fine, except I was in a terrible mood Friday evening and unable to coax myself onto the trainer or into the pool. If I could have just gone to the pool... Because of that, I only got in 1 swim this week. Ugh. I know I'm not supposed to whine over missed workouts but I can't help it. I was unable to get up early and make it to my masters workouts, and I'm really pissed at myself. I was really behind on the biking as well, also because of not being able to get up early. I had planned on going Friday afternoon but a meeting got moved from a.m. to p.m., started late, and went long, destroying my plans, which is why you should always get the workout in early. Otherwise, things pop up and sabotage the best-intended plans. I just feel totally overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I can't get it all done.
Saturday, I decided to bike 15 miles to our group's run start. We did a 10 mile run, and I biked home for a total of 30 miles. This plan worked out well. I felt great on both bikes and the run, despite the heat (mid-80s!).
Sunday--time for my long bike. I had a terrible time finding a group to go with. There were millions of rides on Saturday but the only rides I could find on Sunday were planning on 80 miles of hills at 20 mph, or 30 miles at a social pace of 14 mph. Why am I stuck in limbo? Are you telling me there are no riders who want to ride 50-60 miles at 15 mph? I know I'm slow but this is getting ridiculous. Normally, Jason would go with me but he has a terrible virus and is stuck in bed with a fever and involuntary fits of severe coughing. (I just can't wait to get sick again and have my fitness plans completely smashed to bits....another reason why I'm grumpy.) I found a route to try and posted an e-mail to the tri club, hoping someone might show up. However, I posted last night so I knew there would probably be no one this morning waiting for me. There wasn't.
I went solo. I went on a new route in new areas I had never gone on before. How else am I going to try new things? It would have been fine too, except I didn't feel great. Very sluggish. Plus, there was a strong headwind and lots of long, steep hills. Lots of them. I actually felt better on the climbs then on the flats. At least then I had an excuse for going so slowly! The route was absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful parks and canyons and very nice residential areas. Wildlife reserves, lakes, farms, horses, and deserts. Kids playing soccer and flying kites. A horse whinnying in the distance. I'm so mad I felt so crappy! I couldn't enjoy it. At mile 40, I was supposed to stay on the on-ramp on the interstate for 1/4 of a mile, and I freaked out and went straight instead. I HATE doing that, even though it's allowed for certain portions of the interstates around here. It wasn't clear to me that bikes were allowed on the shoulder at that point, and being alone, I hoped I was supposed to go over the interstate and stay on the road I was on. Wrong. Few miles down the road, I figured out where I was and probably could have planned an alternate route home but I was done. Mentally (and physically) I had just had it. I don't know if it was the run before or the hills or being alone or if I'm out of shape on the bike but I was done. I was creeping along at 12 mph and knew I still had a long way to go. I guess I mentally bonked.
I called Jason, and he dragged himself out of bed and picked me up. I feel utterly ashamed and embarrassed. Like I failed. To be honest, I feel exhausted too. Now that I'm home, I'm realizing I don't feel that great. I have a headache and am really tired. I think I might be coming down with Jason's bug, and I don't know how I can still stay on track if I get sick again. I'm mad I didn't get into the ocean this weekend with it being so beautiful outside. I'm mad I didn't finish the bike. I'm worried about how I'll do on race day if I feel so crappy right now. Really worried.