I'm so frustrated right now. The end of the week didn't as I had hoped. I did my long run on Saturday instead of Sunday and the long bike on Sunday. This would have been fine, except I was in a terrible mood Friday evening and unable to coax myself onto the trainer or into the pool. If I could have just gone to the pool... Because of that, I only got in 1 swim this week. Ugh. I know I'm not supposed to whine over missed workouts but I can't help it. I was unable to get up early and make it to my masters workouts, and I'm really pissed at myself. I was really behind on the biking as well, also because of not being able to get up early. I had planned on going Friday afternoon but a meeting got moved from a.m. to p.m., started late, and went long, destroying my plans, which is why you should always get the workout in early. Otherwise, things pop up and sabotage the best-intended plans. I just feel totally overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I can't get it all done.
Saturday, I decided to bike 15 miles to our group's run start. We did a 10 mile run, and I biked home for a total of 30 miles. This plan worked out well. I felt great on both bikes and the run, despite the heat (mid-80s!).
Sunday--time for my long bike. I had a terrible time finding a group to go with. There were millions of rides on Saturday but the only rides I could find on Sunday were planning on 80 miles of hills at 20 mph, or 30 miles at a social pace of 14 mph. Why am I stuck in limbo? Are you telling me there are no riders who want to ride 50-60 miles at 15 mph? I know I'm slow but this is getting ridiculous. Normally, Jason would go with me but he has a terrible virus and is stuck in bed with a fever and involuntary fits of severe coughing. (I just can't wait to get sick again and have my fitness plans completely smashed to bits....another reason why I'm grumpy.) I found a route to try and posted an e-mail to the tri club, hoping someone might show up. However, I posted last night so I knew there would probably be no one this morning waiting for me. There wasn't.
I went solo. I went on a new route in new areas I had never gone on before. How else am I going to try new things? It would have been fine too, except I didn't feel great. Very sluggish. Plus, there was a strong headwind and lots of long, steep hills. Lots of them. I actually felt better on the climbs then on the flats. At least then I had an excuse for going so slowly! The route was absolutely gorgeous. Beautiful parks and canyons and very nice residential areas. Wildlife reserves, lakes, farms, horses, and deserts. Kids playing soccer and flying kites. A horse whinnying in the distance. I'm so mad I felt so crappy! I couldn't enjoy it. At mile 40, I was supposed to stay on the on-ramp on the interstate for 1/4 of a mile, and I freaked out and went straight instead. I HATE doing that, even though it's allowed for certain portions of the interstates around here. It wasn't clear to me that bikes were allowed on the shoulder at that point, and being alone, I hoped I was supposed to go over the interstate and stay on the road I was on. Wrong. Few miles down the road, I figured out where I was and probably could have planned an alternate route home but I was done. Mentally (and physically) I had just had it. I don't know if it was the run before or the hills or being alone or if I'm out of shape on the bike but I was done. I was creeping along at 12 mph and knew I still had a long way to go. I guess I mentally bonked.
I called Jason, and he dragged himself out of bed and picked me up. I feel utterly ashamed and embarrassed. Like I failed. To be honest, I feel exhausted too. Now that I'm home, I'm realizing I don't feel that great. I have a headache and am really tired. I think I might be coming down with Jason's bug, and I don't know how I can still stay on track if I get sick again. I'm mad I didn't get into the ocean this weekend with it being so beautiful outside. I'm mad I didn't finish the bike. I'm worried about how I'll do on race day if I feel so crappy right now. Really worried.
9 comments:
Hey, we all have days, weeks, months (!) like this. You'll get back at it. You are dedicated - I know that just from reading your blog!
Hang in there. Everyone has a bad day, even elite athletes.
But I'm concerned that maybe your sluggishness and grumpiness were signs that you're picking up that stupid virus. It seems like our bodies know these things before our brains do.
Settle in, take care of yourself, and remember that this wasn't the last beautiful day on earth. There will be others, and you'll feel fantastic! :-)
ok... forget about the bad crap. the race is too close. Just get back to being consistent and and clear your head. You have the fitness.
It sounds like the crapness probably comes from the virus.
The missed workout thing is just a pain, and I know how you feel. I am mad at myself for a couple of missed workouts. In fact, right not I'm feeling guilty because I could SO take my bike outside, and instead I'm going to be on the trainer to DH again.
BUT, look at what you did do. You added 30 miles of riding onto your run (and 10 miles isn't exactly small change!), you did do 40+ miles the next day (that's not a "short" ride even if it's not exactly "long" either).. yada yada!
You know you can do it, you will NOT feel this crappy on race day :-)
That was a big Saturday, so the long ride on Sunday added alot. Being sick and riding solo makes it hard. Hang in there and hopefully you'll bounce right back!
Bad days (weeks)... We all get 'em. You are doing exactly what you should do - give it a good gripe and get back on the saddle. :) I've been reading your posts long enough to know that you WILL bounce back and kick that training schedule into gear. So here's to the good training week to follow.
I'm in a bit of a bad week myself - Chinese New Year holidays, kids sick and I'm feeling like I'm right on the edge of falling sick or recovering. Do I head out and train or do I continue resting?!?!
I don't much like headwinds either. Hills I don't mind (probably because Singapore is so flat)... at least you can look back and see how far you have climbed, but head wind, it just saps my energy and makes me feel like I am biking in syrup! :(
Hang in there, ain't nuthing wrong with calling backup once in a while. With every mile that you ride, you ARE getting stronger!
Don't sweat it - it's only a ride. Plus, it's days like these that make the good days even better. Now keep at it!!!
Rachel..
nice n easy. If u need more rest, take some. Don't worry about the speed. Was the course on Sun tougher than the bike course on the HIM? If so, chalk it up and be happy that if u can handle those steep hills, u can smoke the HIM.
If it makes u feel any better..i was suppose to run 1:40 on Sun...i read it wrong and ran 1:10..oops :D
Take a moment and count to 4 and breath.
We all go through bad training days and weeks, as long as you take one more step after a bad day you will be okay.
Brush off the missed stuff and look ahead. Looking back will just drive you crazy..
No shame in getting a ride home, if you don't try again, then that is a different story.
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